What do you do when you've fallen through the cracks and crying doesn't ease your pain anymore? What do you do when everyone you love has forgotten you? When you are so alone you cannot bear it any longer? How is it possible to be surrounded by people daily yet not feel a connection with any of them, and the ones that you do feel a connection with don't care enough about you to do anything about it? How do you make life matter? What do you do to change it? Form meaningless, empty relationships for a temporary fix, or deal with the pain in the effort to find a long term fix? Why does it feel like those people who are supposed to care about you the most, or claim to, make you feel the worst? Or you feel the least loved by them. But what can you expect from a person or a relationship? What is considered fair and what is expecting too much?

So today I got a raise. Yay!! That will be a nice added income.

Justin is moving to New York on July 1st. He asked me to move with him. Maybe I will. I don't know. I guess we'll see.

Hope everyone is doing good!

Today I bought a new car from Cougar Auto Sales. I no longer have to drive around the mini van! Yay!! And I guess the accident was worth it because this car is way cuter.

I found out on Thurday that I've gained 20 pounds this past year. That makes me want to throw up. I think I may become bulimic.